Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
