I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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