i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
