I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
