We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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