We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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