All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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