I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
