My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
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