Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
