I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
