im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
