Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Boobs are out for the taking
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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