yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
