Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
