You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
