He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
