How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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