i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
