I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
