im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
