I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
