I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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