We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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