oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
