We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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