i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize