I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
