well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
