If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Randomize
