I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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