Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Randomize
