so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
