I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
tell me about the eggs
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
