It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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