I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
