hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
