I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
