yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
