cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
