I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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