We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
