New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
