i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
