Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
