4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
