Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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