5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
