My hand turned me down
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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