her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
