Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
pray to the hookup gods
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
