dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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