The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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