Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I am midnight drunk by noon
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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