...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
