we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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