I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You may now shotgun with the bride
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
