Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
