yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
