Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
