He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
