im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
