Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
