I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
