I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
