ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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