oh god the rape fog is back!
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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