i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Damn victory sex feels great
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
