Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
So vagazzling was a success
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
