listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
