Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
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