It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize